It doesn’t help that I have been dealing with depression for a few years now. but i’m going to a college that i don’t even want to go to. It’s my moms dream not mine. I try talking to her about what i want and she completely ignores me or yells at me. She’ll say one thing to my face and then when people come around she says the complete opposite. And arguing with ryan does’t help. we’ve been fight a lot since he has been gone. This distance seriously sucks. I am having the hardest time with him being gone and he says I’m selfish because i have family and friends here when he has no one. so it’s hard to tell him when i am having a rough day because he gets mad about it. and i feel like he is losing his love for me. he used to do all these cute things for me and send me flowers and reassure me that he loves me. he doesn’t do that anymore. he doesn’t even Skype me also my brother and i got in a huge blow out in the beginning of summer and i try to talk to him but he won’t even give me the time of day. It seems like everything is falling apart for me right now. i don’t know how to handle it.
Either today or tomorrow I will get the I’m a Sailor call! I’m so excited!! I’m so anxious. I’m so ready for this no talking to be over! I can’t wait to kiss him OH MY GOD!
